What to do if you lose your sense of direction after the holidays? Psychologists can help you get out of confusion

After the Spring Festival holiday, many people will fall into the dilemma of "losing their sense of direction" - they can't find the motivation to work or study, feel anxious and powerless about the future, and even doubt their choices. If this state continues for a long time, it may develop into chronic stress or low sense of achievement.

Xiao Wang is a 25-year-old programmer. During his Spring Festival trip back home, his relatives repeatedly asked him about his career plan: "Are you going to keep writing code? When can you get a promotion?" After returning to work, he fell into self-doubt: "Is my current job really suitable for me? Am I wasting my time?" This confusion caused his work efficiency to decline, and he even began to avoid work. After evaluation, Qi Jing, deputy director of the clinical psychology department of Hunan Provincial Second People's Hospital (Provincial Brain Hospital) , learned that Xiao Wang's troubles mainly came from two aspects:

1. Cognitive bias: Paying too much attention to other people’s opinions (such as “programmers have no future”) and ignoring one’s own strengths and interests.

2. Behavioral avoidance: delaying action due to fear of failure, further exacerbating the feeling of powerlessness.

Deputy Director Doctor Qi Jing reminded us that we can reduce this anxiety and powerlessness by adjusting in the following aspects:

1. Identify and challenge catastrophic thinking

First, check whether you have the following negative thoughts: All-or-nothing thinking - "If this job is not suitable for me, my life will be over."; Overgeneralization - "A project failure means that I am not capable enough."; Mind reading - "My colleagues must think that I am incapable." Then write down the negative thoughts and refute them with objective evidence. For example, write down the negative thoughts first: "My work is worthless." Then write down the rebuttal evidence: "In the past three months, I have completed two projects independently and the customer feedback is good." Or use alternative questions: "If a friend falls into the same dilemma, how would I persuade him?"

2. Reconstruct the cognition of "goals"

The root of confusion often lies in the wrong perception of goals, such as thinking that "you must find the perfect direction before you can take action." Let's try a "behavioral experiment" to take action. First, set an exploratory goal. Xiao Wang can adjust his goal from "finding a lifelong career" to "trying to participate in a cross-departmental collaborative project in the next three months to understand the work content of other positions." Then break it down into the smallest action unit: ask colleagues about the work processes of other departments on Monday; attend a meeting of the product department on Wednesday; and summarize your interest scores for different positions on Friday. Build a sense of control through small successes.

3. Behavioral Activation

Confused people often fall into a vicious cycle of "thinking too much and doing too little". CBT emphasizes changing emotional states through concrete actions. Specific practices include: (1) Formulate a "5-minute start-up method". When Xiao Wang doesn't want to write code, he tells himself "just do it for 5 minutes". Usually, he will be able to get into the state more easily after starting. (2) Establish daily micro-habits: spend 15 minutes every day learning a new skill (such as data analysis, communication skills) to enhance the "sense of growth". (3) Record a list of achievements: write down three small things you have completed every day (such as "fixed a bug" and "helped a colleague solve a problem") to strengthen self-affirmation.

4. Value Clarification

The essence of a lack of sense of direction may be the misalignment between personal values ​​and current life. We can try the value ranking exercise to clarify our future direction: list 10 values ​​that you think are important (such as "creativity", "stability", "social contribution"), and rank them by priority. Xiao Wang found that "learning new technologies" and "teamwork" are his core values, and both of these can be met in his current job, which alleviated his doubts about his career. If a core value has not been met for a long time (such as "autonomy"), you can make an adjustment plan (such as applying to be responsible for a project independently).

5. Distinguish between "others' standards" and "self-needs"

When a relative says, "Programmers are not as stable as civil servants," Xiao Wang can ask himself, "Is stability really what I need most right now?" Actively reduce browsing of "success stories" on social media to avoid falling into the comparison trap.

Deputy Chief Physician Qi Jing reminds : If you want to master the tools of self-regulation and form a virtuous cycle of positive cognition and behavior, you need to review the progress of your goals every week and adjust your strategies rather than deny them; realize that "sense of direction" is a process of dynamic adjustment and allow yourself to try and make mistakes; form a "growth group" with like-minded friends to share confusion and experience.

The confusion of direction after the Spring Festival is not the end, but an opportunity to re-examine yourself. You can turn anxiety into motivation for exploration and gradually find your own rhythm of life. Remember: life is not a journey that must be followed by a map, but a unique path to walk through trial and error. If the confusion is accompanied by persistent depression and social withdrawal, you need to seek help from a psychological counselor.

Hunan Medical Chat Special Author: Wang Du, Clinical Psychology Department, Hunan Second People's Hospital (Provincial Brain Hospital)

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(Edited by YT)