Children at different ages have different psychological development characteristics

Author: Gao Chang, Associate Professor, Jining Medical College

Reviewer: Wang Changhong, Chief Physician, Second Affiliated Hospital of Xinxiang Medical College

The psychological development characteristics of children are important characteristics that constitute their physical and mental health. The psychological development characteristics of children at different stages are different. Only when parents first understand the psychological development characteristics of children at different ages can they better establish a parent-child relationship with their children.

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1. Three growth stages that have a greater impact on children's psychological development

From the perspective of age, there are three main growth stages that have a greater impact on children's psychological development, namely infancy, school age and adolescence.

The early childhood period refers to the age period from three to six or seven years old. This stage is the period when children enter kindergarten to study, and it is also the period before they officially enter school life. It is also called the "preschool period."

School age refers to the age period from six or seven to eleven or twelve years old. During this stage, children begin to enter primary school and learning becomes the dominant activity.

Adolescence refers to the age period from eleven or twelve to seventeen or eighteen years old, which can be divided into junior high school and high school.

Junior high school is from 11 or 12 years old to 14 or 15 years old. This period is a period of accelerated physical development for children. Due to the imbalance between physical and psychological development, children will face a series of psychological crises. Senior high school is from 14 or 15 years old to 17 or 18 years old. At this time, children are physically mature and their psychological development is close to that of adults.

2. Characteristics of psychological development at each stage

Children’s psychological development characteristics are different at each stage, the most representative of which is that they will have different self-awareness and interpersonal relationships at different stages.

1. Self-awareness and interpersonal relationships of early childhood children

The characteristics of children's self-awareness at this stage are mainly manifested in the following four aspects: ① The description of the self will remain at a relatively superficial level, such as the description of name, gender, age, etc., and it is impossible to describe the inner experience in detail; ② The evaluation of the self shifts from trusting adults to self-independence, and from general, external behaviors to focusing on one's own qualities; ③ Self-experience transitions from emotional experiences derived from physiological needs (such as being happy simply because of eating favorite snacks) to social emotional experiences (such as complex emotions such as guilt and self-blame due to failure); ④ The ability to self-regulate emotions is low and they are prone to impulsiveness.

In terms of interpersonal relationships, children often learn the various reactions of other people in the outside world through reinforcement, imitation or assimilation of a certain type of mechanism. Friendships between children during this period are often fragile. Connections between each other may be formed quickly, but they may also break quickly. This behavior is more common. In this process, they learn interpersonal skills and form equal, cooperative and negotiated interpersonal relationships.

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2. Self-awareness and interpersonal relationships of school-age children

The characteristics of children's self-awareness at this stage are mainly manifested in the following three aspects: ① The understanding of self will develop from the description of specific and external characteristics to the more abstract and psychologically meaningful direction, that is, more description of the deep inner world, such as personality, feelings towards others, etc. ② The experience of emotions and feelings will be highly consistent with the evaluation. Children will feel proud and proud of receiving good evaluations, but will feel ashamed and guilty about their shortcomings, and gradually begin to have independent opinions and be able to fully discuss their strengths and weaknesses. ③ In the third and fourth grades of elementary school, they begin to develop the habit of self-control when studying, and initially form a match between sense of responsibility and behavior.

In terms of interpersonal relationships, on the one hand, as their independence increases, children will require that parent-child issues be dealt with in a way that is more inclined toward mutual consultation and explanation; on the other hand, loose and easily broken peer relationships will gradually be replaced by stable and closely connected friendships, and a social support system from peers will be initially formed.

3. Adolescents’ self-awareness and interpersonal relationships

Starting from adolescence, the conflict between the physical and mental polarization will trigger a series of changes in children. They will begin to resist the pressure or influence from the authority such as parents or teachers, but at the same time they need to rely on authority. They will shift their focus to themselves, and the information related to themselves will be isolated to prevent others from snooping at will, but at the same time they hope that their existence will be recognized by others. They feel that their childhood self is very naive, but they are also attached to the feelings of childhood.

In terms of interpersonal relationships, children in junior high school begin to look for and establish relationships similar to those of confidants or close friends. Some emotions, behaviors, and opinions will gradually be out of the control of their parents, and the role of parents as role models will be significantly weakened.

In high school, children's self-awareness and cognitive development are getting closer to that of adults, and their extreme resistance to their families will gradually decrease. They will slowly build up their own ideas to examine and view social events around them, and at the same time evaluate their own roles in the events. They can manage themselves and plan for the future.

3. Issues that parents need to pay attention to

As children's psychological development characteristics change, parents should also pay attention to adjusting the way they get along with their children in order to establish a good parent-child relationship.

1. Early childhood

(1) Parents should give objective and appropriate evaluations to their children, which plays an important role in the development of their children’s personality.

(2) Parents should pay attention to cultivating their children’s self-esteem, which is one of the important indicators to measure their children’s mental health.

(3) Parents should provide appropriate supervision and guidance to their children while accompanying them, so that children can gradually learn to deal with their emotions correctly.

(4) Parents should encourage their children to interact more with peers and help them better adapt to the external environment.

2. School age

(1) Parents should use negotiation to communicate with their children, which will help them develop a positive self-awareness.

(2) Before children reach the third or fourth grade of elementary school, parents should provide appropriate guidance so that their children can smoothly go through the transition period and develop good living and learning habits.

(3) Parents should gradually shift their children’s education from supervision and education to guidance, or teach them silently through words and deeds, leaving enough space for children’s independence.

(4) Parents should support their children in participating in more group activities. The more sense of collective belonging children experience, the more stable their psychological support system will be.

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3. Puberty

(1) Parents should learn to let go, reduce their lecturing on their children’s behavior, and increase their emotional responses to their children.

(2) Parents should guide their children to set their own life goals. No matter what the goals are, as long as the children are willing to work hard for them, parents should give them support and encouragement.

I hope every parent can understand their children, become their children’s confidant, and escort their children’s healthy growth.