17 Social Media Updates That Are So Disgusting That You'll Throw Up a Hoo

Here are 17 social network updates that are so disgusting that you want to vomit. Let’s see if you are one of them.

1. Declarations of love that don't ever need to declare: “I love my daughter sooo much.

Unnecessary Declaration of Love: "I love my daughter so much."

Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps felt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on it. Once, a friend of mine posted, "I hate my kid. Sorry to offend you, but he's a little bastard and I'm sick of him." Obviously it was a joke, but 141 people felt the need to tell him what a bad parent he was.

Analysis: Do these people feel that they have to let others know how much they like someone? They may feel that it is a bit depressing to stick to this love. Why don’t you tell the person you love? What’s the point of shouting it to the world? One time, my friend posted this: "I hate my child. I’m sorry if it makes you unhappy, but he is really a little jerk. I hate him so much." It was obviously just a joke, but 141 guys left comments saying that he was really an incompetent father...

2. Mundane details about their day appearing as milestones: “Going to dinner and a movie!!!”

Ordinary details of life must be regarded as milestones: "I went to dinner and watched a movie!!!"

Analysis: A very boring life.

Analysis: Such days are so boring.

3. Giving details about health along with emoticon to verify feelings about it: “Feeling sick today :(“

Post details about your health, and add an emoji to justify your statement: "Feeling sick today :("

Analysis: Bored, and too stupid to just play Words with Friends.

Analysis: This person is also driven by boredom. You are not even qualified to play word games with friends, you idiot.

4. Emotional rant directed at no one in particular, but so specific that everyone knows they've been screwed over: “Never trust people who tell you they will pick you up at 6 just to make you wait an hour. Some people will never be mature enough to be in a relationship, so maybe they should be dumped.”

The emotional scolding may not seem to be directed at anyone, but everyone knows that they are done: "Never trust a guy who says he will pick you up at 6 o'clock, but makes you wait for an hour. Some people will never be able to fall in love like mature people, maybe they deserve to be dumped."

Analysis: Well, they can't really give the person's name or address them directly. That would be too honest.

Analysis: Well, this person shouldn’t mention the name, nor should he say it directly to the other person’s face.

5. Pictures of feet.

Photos of feet

Analysis: I have no idea why people do this. It's weird.

Analysis: I don't know why anyone would do this. It's just weird.

6. Pictures of mundane plates of food in front of them.

An ordinary dish in front of me

Analysis: "I'm eating. You have to see what I'm eating!" Well, maybe it looked better at the restaurant.

Analysis: "I'm eating, you should watch me eating Aunt Mua!" Maybe the real thing in the restaurant looks better than the one you took.

7. Dozens of trivial pictures of people and their new boyfriends/girlfriends smiling and posing.

A bunch of photos of people, either of Zhang San and Li Si, or photos of them posing and smiling with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Analysis: This is a very interesting phenomenon. I've looked at a lot of people's Facebook albums. Women typically begin a relationship and immediately start accumulating evidence of it. The more insecure the woman, the more evidence there will be. She will begin posting them as default profile pics. In a couple of weeks, she will no longer have a profile pic with just her in it. to “like” all of them. You can tell how long a relationship will last by the difference in pics between the couple. If the woman has 30 and the man has 3 – it's over in 3 months. You can also gage how invested in the relationship your female partner is by counting the pics. Anything over 10 should be a warning that she wants to marry you. Some people have over a hundred, which shows some serious desperation in providing evidence that, in fact, they are really together.

Analysis: This interesting phenomenon is worth mentioning. I (the original author) have looked through many people's Facebook albums. Generally speaking, as soon as a woman falls in love, she will immediately post a lot of evidence. The less secure she is, the more photos she posts. At the beginning, it may be the default profile picture. After a few weeks, you can no longer find a profile picture with only her. She will post a photo of the two of them and circle her boyfriend. There is only one photo in her boyfriend's space. Yes, it is this photo she circled. Men must like all the photos on her page. Want to know how long it will take for the two to break up? Just look at the difference in the number of photos. The woman posted 30 photos and the man posted 3 photos - they broke up in 3 months. The more photos a woman has, the more she is committed to the relationship. Once there are more than 10 photos, be careful that she will have the idea of ​​"marrying you". Some women will post more than 100 photos, which seems to be quite hardworking.

8. White girls wearing a lot of makeup and trying to strike a badass pose, sometimes making what they think are gang symbols.

The photos of girls wearing heavy makeup and making hand gestures are actually gangster gestures

Analysis: They wish they were badass, or at least half Chicano, but they're just ridiculous.

Analysis: Trying every possible way to act cool, at least having some of the coolness of the Kano people, but it just looks ridiculous.

9. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “I'm loving life right now.”

A touching declaration like Life is Beautiful: “I love my life right now.”

Analysis: Life is not good.

Analysis: People would only say this when they are having a hard time.

10. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”

A touching confession to God: "I am blessed to live such a good life. Everything I have is due to God. If you regard God as your only savior, you will never be sad."

Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.

Analysis: If you are religious, spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.

11. Updates about how much they drink and how excited they are to be drinking: “LOL…it's only 8:30 and look at us!! We're already drunk!! LOL!”

How much alcohol he drank, how excited he was after drinking: "LOL...it's only 8:30 and look at us guys!! We're already drunk!! LOL!"

Analysis: "I'm having fun. I swear. I'm not an alcoholic. I just don't know any other way of self-proclaiming my sense of being cool."

Analysis: "I'm pretty happy, really. I'm not an alcoholic, but I don't know any other way to express how great I feel right now."

12. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn't get back in my car. Hahaha.”

Write a joke about something mundane: "Stopped for gas, waited an hour to get a prescription. Only to find out I lost my car keys and now I can't get into my car. Hahaha."

Analysis: "It's funny, right? Please say it's funny."

Analysis: "Is it funny, huh? Please tell me what's funny."

13. Updates written as though the page-bearer never had an English class, not even in elementary school. “OK I went to the OMG the swag thing u know I ran into that girl my friends cousin and she LOL had a gold ring in her nose and she says hey u biggie I swear I almost loosed it right their hahahaha but she knew I had to go to”

Like someone who's never taken a language class, not even in elementary school: "OK, here we go, OMG, look at that dangling thing, run over to that girl my friend's cousin, LOL, she has a ring on her nose and she says hey everyone, I swear I'm almost out of it, now theirs, hahahahaha, but she's cool, I have to go."

Analysis: They failed English but finally found a way to express incomprehensible thoughts.

Analysis: These people are not good at language, but they have found a way to express their unfathomable thoughts.

14. Quoted clichés from various thinkers: “It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” –Unknown.

To quote various philosophers: "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." - Unknown philosopher

Analysis: “I can't think of anything amazing to say while I comfort myself, and I can't find my iPod to quote some Lady Gaga.”

Analysis: "I want to comfort myself, but I can't say anything cool. I don't have an iPod, and I can't quote Lady Gaga's famous quotes."

15. Quoted song lyrics from really bad songwriters written as though it's philosophy: “I set fire to the rain, and I threw us into the flames, where I heard something' die” –Adele

Quoting a crappy lyric written by a shitty lyricist, and treating it as philosophy: "I set the rain on fire and threw us both into the flames. I heard the sound of death coming from the flames. - Adele"

Analysis: “Adele is amazing! She is NOT a preconceived commercial scheme of the music industry. She's not!”

Analysis: "Adele is awesome! She is not a link in the music industry's business plan chain. She is not!"

16.Political rants about random things: “Why should churches have to pay for abortions? Obama is a terrible president and a terrorist.”

Everything is political: "Why should the church pay for abortions? Obama sucks as president, he's a terrorist."

Analysis: I don't know. I hate politics.

Analysis: Actually, I don’t understand anything, I just hate politics.

17. Unusual excitement about seeing someone: “OMG I can’t wait to see Lesley and Jaime and Kelly!!”

Especially excited to meet people: "OMG, I can't wait to meet Lesley, Jaime, and Kelly!!"

Analysis: Superficiality is the drug of the overabundance.

Analysis: Superficiality is the best cure for excess energy.

From: VOA English